Narcissit? Who me?

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Nothing Post.

Sometimes my brain is all, like "I've got ideas and I would like to share them with you and be all fun n'stuff" and then I come on here and I share all that fun stuff on my blog cause that's how I do, and because I desperately need the external validation. And that's great- I love it! But sometimes when I am  craving a big ol' glass of ice cold attention and I turn to my brain to get it for me and all I get is: "whistle...........(tumbleweed)...whistle...." 

Hence the hilarious picture up-top!

So how do I go and re-start the ol' noggin? The brain-ilator? The skull-itron? Well, to be honest I usually just text someone something vague and get them to come and pay attention to me. I find that a carefully timed "sigh" and a ":( " can pretty much trick anyone into a dialogue.

But, sometimes- when I got a case of the "all-about-me's" that texting friends or going online and creating fake profiles on dating websites shopping won't solve, I have certain methods. Tricks. Remedies. That can turn my drab-u-lous day into a frab-u-lous one! (And YES one of those methods is making up new words that sound a lot like other words and have the same meaning and really only differ by, like, one letter. Snpoopy Mcgoo!)

#1) Make VERY specific Google searches in regards to recently aired television episodes and pieces of furniture only glimpsed briefly in the background:

Find 0 results.

#2) Laugh at this:

#3) Examine the hilarity of the following sentence:

"I just pooped my jump suit!"

Why is this sentence so funny? It seriously makes me laugh so hard and there is really no reason. I challenge you to insert this sentence into everyday life and you will see it is the funniest sentence in the world!


Bank Teller: "G'day sir. How may I help you today?"
Customer: "I would like to close out my bank account."
Bank Teller: "May I ask why, sir?"
Customer: "I just pooped my jumpsuit!"
Bank Teller:  dies laughing 

Aaaaaaaand SCENE!

See? Isn't it the best!

And would you look at that? By using these few simple tricks I've come up with material in order to seek out the addictive, hard-won, fickle,  attention I so desperately need!

 Genius? You tell ME!


Keri said...

Genius! Thank you for making me giggle this morning! I'm going to try to use that sentence today!

Wanda said...

Oh Danny, thanks for the laugh. But at my age I'm desperately trying NOT to poop my jumpsuit.