It has come to my attention, through various avenues, that what I write on this little scrap of space and screen is not always sunshine and rainbows, and apparently it is cause for concern. Yes, I will admit that I have a tendency to indulge in melancholy, and I can be overly dramatic, and have a certain flare for self-deprecation but I would like to take this time to set the record straight.
I am very happy. I have a good life and I get that, okay. I don't want people clicking on this link and thinking afterwards "That wasn't what I was looking for at all. Where's the porn?!" or even worse: "What a self indulgent, lazy cry-baby! There are people in this world with bigger problems!" I know. I get it. I was trying desperately to make a joke.
I am very fortunate. I have had the opportunity within the last year to pursue my passion (which isn't as my brother suspects "doing nothing") and I am very grateful. Sure, I am a tad disappointed I am not disarmingly and devastatingly attractive, and that my bank account balance contains too few digits but those are small potatoes. I'm lucky to have, despite my best efforts, food in my belly and cash in my pocket.
I like the life I'm living. Yes, I am sure summering in Martha's Vineyard is quite divine. I am sure jetting off for a sojourn in Bermuda is life affirming, but I can't really complain. I'm living in a city I love (or have come to love because of geographical proximity) and I have friends to see and a family that cares for and supports me. I have people to text very late at night, and very early in the morning. I am neither lonely, sad, depressed, upset, or unsatisfied. I have a small degree of disappointment but I think it a was Jesus* that said "Everyone should have a little disappointment; without it the Communists would win." Which pretty much rationalizes my feelings and my personal political ideology.
I am not having a crisis of confidence and or any crisis at all for that matter. Oui, I have a knack for the dramatic. I have a way of exaggerating the truth, and my feelings, and generally blowing things out of proportion. Can you blame me? It's just the way my mind works. You wouldn't get mad a rabbit for thinking about carrots all the time. Point made!
So, yes dear friends don't take everything you read on here too seriously. This, like all other blog entries has received zero forethought.
*Not actually a quote from Jesus