I am packing up my things and heading back (after a brief absence) to the big city! I am happy that I have a job, and I can see my friends again, and that I can watch movies, and drink Chai tea lattes again. There are a lot of perks to living in the city. There are buses and museums. There is an art gallery (that I'll be working at) and clothing stores. But the thing that I don't like about moving back there is that now I have to go through all my stuff.
Looking through the boxes I have stashed all over my parent's house make me wonder what kind of life was I carving out for myself. I have garbage bags and garbage bags full of clothes and shoes. I have boxes and boxes full of books. I have pillows and throw blankets stuffed into cupboards and I have useless pieces of glass everywhere. Big-honking pieces of glass! And while I can count some of these objects as gifts and some as very very cheap, I look at the other stuff and say: "Wow, I really wish I had $20 dollars instead of that." It's sad because there is stuff I remember buying, and at that moment I really "had to have" it. I bought and I consumed, and I spent way more on things that I didn't need, but only thought I needed. It's like when I look at a book I bought two years ago, and transfered on it's slim spine, the daunting task of teaching me everything there is to know about the universe. It was supposed to teach me much more about the world than just entertain me for 250 pages. It was supposed to speak to me. Did it? Nope. It was a really terrible novel, and I didn't enjoy it at all. But it was a first novel by a Canadian author, so I thought there would be secret clues in the pages, as to how I could publish my own first novel. I paid somewhere around $24.50 for that book, and I wish, now, that I had that money back. I also wish I hadn't bought all those seasons of TV shows, that I never watch, but again "needed."
I should have a yard sale or something to get rid of all this junk but that takes effort, so much more effort than just sealing a box shut with packing tape.