Narcissit? Who me?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Romancing the Scarab.

A few moths ago I wrote the jacket cover of a book I was going to write. I've made some progress, so here it is.

Judith Larmont was diligently working in the ancient Egyptian wing of the Museum of Ancient Artifacts. She was surrounded by ancient objects, each one more ancient than the last. Surrounded by these ancient artifacts, Judith felt down right young. A hidden beauty at 34, with luxurious hair tied back in a tight bun, and blazing green eyes hidden behind thick glasses, she had devoted herself to these relics, feeling more at home in the ancient world than in her own. Staring down at the youthful golden face she was restoring she began to talk to it, as she had for many months before.

"And then last night Jiggles, my tabby, was so frisky! I could hardly take his rectal temperature.." She spoke to the handsome face on the Tomb.

Chipping away on the thousands of years of grime and soot that tarnished the young King's ancient face, Judith felt that he was truly listening. He listened to all her ups and down. Of veterinary appointments and busy signals when she phoned in to vote for Idol. His face, his kind, golden face, was her favorite in all of the museum. And even in his inanimate state he was more of a boyfriend than her last. Larry, the security guard at the museum, had not listened to her stories as intently in their entire relationship. But their two week romance was plagued with other problems, in his case, failure to commit.

No, it was better to have her work. Restoring ancient artifacts for the museum was her dream job. She loved chipping away at grime, and wiping off fingerprints. Whether it was restoring this, the tomb of the ancient King Ray-mal, or wiping the cat prints off her plastic covered couch, she was filled with a sense of accomplishment whenever she finished a task.

"Chip-Brush. Chip-Brush" were the only sounds to be heard in the entire museum. She was staying late. She had set the VCR to record, and as long as Jinxy, her himalayan, didn't chew the remote again, she had nothing to rush home too. Plus she was making huge progress in polishing the King's staff. She was determined to finish it tonight.

"Chip-Brush, Chip-Ouch!" Were the next sounds to be heard. While staring longingly at the King's handsome face, and trying to figure out how old he would be in cat-years, Judith had let her mind wander. But her hands were still working away at his staff, and she had caught her own thumb under the sharp edge of her little museum-y type hammer.

"Ow ow ow!" she cried, clutching her finger to her chest. "That smarts!"

Crimson blood broke through the cut in her finger, more blood than you might imagine for such a small cut, but still realistic. Judith looked around for something to wrap her thumb with. She held her hand outstretched, not wanting to get blood on her new JC Penny cardigan, and then decided that she had better go and wash it off. Running from the room, Judith had no idea what she had just done.

With her hand outstretched, Judith had placed it right over top of the sarcophagus. Blood dripped directly upon a golden scarab beetle, directly in the middle of the King's chest. What were the chances? The golden beetle, now shone bright red, and the entire mummy coffin erupted in a bright light!

"Crash-Slide" were the next sounds to be heard, as the lid of the coffin broke open, and was pushed aside.

Stayed tuned for the next exciting installment of... ROMANCING THE SCARAB!

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