Narcissit? Who me?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Blockage.

"Okay," I say to myself as I sit down on my computer, "You're going to write something today. I don't care if it kills you or if right now you burst into tears, you're not getting out of it."

"Okay fine!" I reply back to myself. "But first..."

There is no point in writing anything, or getting started to write anything, If I will just be distracted by checking my e-mail. So I better get that out of the way. Along the top of my screen I click the little button that says "Windows Live Hotmail."

"Oh good! I have nothing new! I won't waste more time being distracted!"

But then a strange sensation comes over me.

Maybe I should check Facebook just to see that there is nothing going on. So I click "Facebook" at the top. No little red numbers at the top. No messages, no notifications, no nothing. But still I scroll. I scroll and I scroll. I read the status' of people I know. I like a couple of things, because I like them, or because I know this will lead to more notifications I can check later. If someone I don't know comes up on the newsfeed I click on them a creep a little bit. All in all there is nothing new, and I really should be getting to work.

"But.. but" my mind cries out.

"Okay," I say, "Just a few more minutes."

I next click the little "**" and "Ignoring the lyrics" buttons in order. If I am lucky there is a new post which I am bound to enjoy, and spend a few minutes reading.

I then click "EW: Entertainment Weekly Online" and scroll and read news.

"This is enough, " I say to myself, "No more wasting time"

But then from the glare of my screen, or the steady hum of the air conditioner outside I am hypnotized. In quick succession I click "Windows Live Hotmail" again. I check the junk folder, I check the inbox. Then i click "Facebook" again. then I click in a desperate fury of finger swipes, and highlighting - everything on my favorites list. I click "Twitter" and "The New Yorker" I click on my online banking. I click on "Wikipedia."

There are no windows that can hold my interest so I click back to "Hotmail" and then "Facebook" again. While on "Facebook" I click "Facebook" again just to see if anything changes. It doesn't.

"You really should be doing something else." I say to myself. " You should be doing something more productive."

"You're right! " I say back.

Then I go have a nap.

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