I have always thought that I was a fairly smart person. I got good grades and I could communicate fairly easily with other people and I have a fairly good understand of my surroundings. Given all this, why idd I just rush into my room afraid that my glass of coke with ice in it would overflow onto a friends book if the ice melted. I should be able to understand that there is no more water in an ice cube than there is ice but I just didn't think that way. It honestly took me a good while to explain it to myself in my own head before I was able to beat myself up for being dimwitted. I guess when we learnt this in science class I must have been dosing. It must have also been the year that i traded my history essays for a classmates old science book, so practically all I did all semester was copy and paste her answers onto my paper. Ah... the good old days.
I wonder if my rampant corner cutting is why I am in the position I am in right now? I borrowed math assignments, copied science homework, paid a friend to type my essays. Was I really doing myself any favors by getting off easy? Have I actually ever worked hard for something? Have I always just relied on my hazy cuteness, sparkling personality, and my ability to imitate people's behaviors so that they immediately like me? Did I really think that was all I needed to know.
I have said for a long time that I am an old soul, going through the motions one more time on the endless cycle of birth-death-rebirth, but what if I am not? What if I have no idea what the hell I am talking about (See ice incident above) and I am just some brand new lazy ass soul who is getting everything wrong and say I meant to do it that way. This may very well be the reason that I am a stunted adolescent, single, un-gainfully employed, directionless, and a touch heavy. Maybe if I was to change my way of thinking, really wrap my head around the philosophy of "we only get one chance, so better make it count" I could radically change my position in life.
Or maybe when I take my cold medication I should simply go to bed instead of bootin' up the old laptop and blogging random crap tromps through my already addled mind.
THERE WERE TWO DAUGHTERS?!?