So I guess when I am cursing the heavens for my loneliness, my job, and the lack of amazing events in my life, I really have no one to blame but myself. But it is carthardic none the less.
Hard work has always been, for lack of a better word, hard for me. And here I am not talking about actually hard, physical labour, ditch digging and the like. I am talking about my own personal version of hard work. Anything that involves putting myself out there, facing rejection, or taking a leap into unknown territory is what I consider hard work. It is hard work for me to mentally wrap my head around it, I am always finding scapegoats for not doing these things: Laziness, fate, ignorance. Which, I suppose, is why although I long for new experiences I am always faced with a big ol' pile of Ordinary at the end of every day.
But as always I am not going to take full credit. The Universe has some s'plainin to do too.